Fernds

Fernds isn’t a word, but a funny way to say friends. Within the last week, I have learned the pragmatic power of the research that I read. “Humans are social creatures,” studying the things I do, I’ve heard this statement much more than once, and I don’t doubt that you have either. In this post we’ll be going over my story this week, going over how humans are social creatures, and the importance of fernds.

This last week wasn’t the greatest week, it’s been awhile since I’ve been that low, but I got there, and it hurt. The reason why? I felt helpless, while I won’t disclose what caused that helplessness, there was something I knew, no matter how much effort I put in, I would not be able to succeed. This helplessness caused a fair amount of pain, and at the end of the day, when I came home, I was feeling lethargic, and didn’t really want to do anything. However, a friend, one of my best friends, whom I promised I would drop anything I'm doing for them, asked me to talk, and while I contemplated saying, “nah, I ain’t trynna do stuff today” (I literally typed it, and then deleted it before I sent it). Instead, I said, "alright," and told myself that I care about him too much to ever avoid him just because “I don’t feel like it.”

As we began talking, they could tell that something was up, I was talking less, and slower. However, I avoided talking about it, because I didn’t wish to spread negative energy, and I knew that I could deal with my adversity with time. This friend however, who knows who they are, kept talking to me, for the rest of the week, everyday, for hours. At the end of each day I felt so much better than I would have if I didn’t talk to them, and one day I even said before ending the conversation, “thank you, I’m not going to tell you why, but thanks.” The why, is because they helped catalyze my recovery, made me feel better and get to grips with my adversity quicker.

This does make sense to me, studying psychology and, in turn, some sociology, I have come to learn that humans are truly social creatures. For example, the social-proof tendency, and cognitive bias which states that people tend to think and act the way people near them think and act. There’s also the inconsistency-avoidance tendency which was likely formed because primitive people didn’t want group members to change since it’d be challenging to keep up. The chameleon effect, Asch effect, group-think, the list goes on. Humans are, scientifically and pragmatically speaking, social creatures. Another proof for this, is the effects that chronic loneliness has on people, which I’ve written enough times on this blog, which I won’t repeat (here’s a post about it).

With all of this said, I can definitely assert that friends are important. Friends, I can now say, not only help you because research and science says so, but because their energy and companionship feeds you positive energy. Even their quiet company. Next to that, I’ve come to conclude that people are creatures who crave validation. What makes a memory, true, is when, you share it with others, if you don’t share it with others, did it really happen? For many people, the answer is, “no,” and sometimes, you don’t tell anyone, because you don’t retain that memory. People and friends are important. This is not a philosophy, this is a fact.

I hope this post helped you appreciate your friends and family a little more. Along with that, I hope that you enjoyed my story, learned about the “social-ness” of humans, and the pragmatic importance of your friends. The people you surround yourself which is what shapes you and your personality. With all of said, I wish you a beautiful week, I’ll see you the next, peace. Original